For Lent, I am giving up the Ego. I am not giving up cheese or cake or chocolate. I am giving in, finally, and giving up that pesky little thing we call the ego. With grace and ease and lightness, I flick this flea off my shoulder. Into the wind and into the light to be done with forever. See you later, ego. It was not really that real. Thanks, you lovely mind disaster, but I’ve had enough of the vicious vitriol. Buh-bye.

Simple as that. I choose again. For me choosing again means to choose the “resurrection” instead of the “crucifixion.” This means I choose love instead of fear. Light instead of dark. Comedy instead of sadness. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler over the incessant images the ego-driven news media puts out to frighten the JESUS out of us. Isis. Malaysian air disasters. Beheadings. You get the picture. A thousand times an hour.

Turn it off. The TV. Turn on Pandora. Go ice-skating. Square dance. Circle dance. Trapezoid dance. Whatever…

I work in a church and am reminded daily of the events of the liturgical calendar even though I stink at understanding any of it. I was raised a Roman Catholic till I was about eleven and then I went to a Methodist Church till I was out of college. I’ve read a lot of the Bible and understood little. Even when the scrambled mass is put in front of me, I can never make out what it is trying to say. The language in it has been turned over and over and over again into so many different versions that I find it somewhat farcical. Scatological, even. That’s a big word for crap.

For most of my life, I thought for sure Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit had left me because I was a lesbian. That insane ego lives in religion and church and I was told by the media and “others” that I was relegated to the margins. So much pain inside of the church – the ego knows no boundaries because the ego “lives” in our minds. It goes with us everywhere. Yep. That’s you and me.

But, I love the Bible because it’s got this really cool guy – Jesus. Who I have come to know really did live and really did not hate gay people and really just wanted to spread some good news about how we can get a little piece of heaven – now.

The heart of the Bible for me is the New Testament. Herein lies the peace that our hero – Jesus – brings to us.

Here are some new words Jesus brings to us because he’s here in all of us now to teach us that we live in a guiltless world. This is a large leap from our Bible of two thousand years ago…but I think this is a good addendum.

There is a new book on planet earth (about 40 years old) that has the Voice of Jesus. It’s not a beach read. It’s 1200 pages. It’s hard to read like the Bible. But the language is fresh and new and it is ONLY the Voice of Jesus and NO ONE ELSE. I feel this with my whole being. I take it two pages a day and it has completely brought me back to church and back to religion and back to – you know – Jesus.

Here’s what He says:

“There is no fear in love, for love is guiltless.”

How cool is that?

He (Jesus) goes onto say:

“No one who condemns a brother (or sister or child) can see himself as guiltless (without sin; without ego) and in the peace of God. If he is guiltless and in peace and sees it not, he is delusional, and has not looked upon himself.”

When he says “condemns,” its that judgy part of our ego. I am better than you and my beliefs are above yours…blah, blah, blah.

He then goes on to say…”Let us look upon him (your brother) together and love him. For in love of him is your guiltlessness. [Only] look upon yourself, and gladness and appreciation for what you see will banish guilt forever.” (p. 265 – Text)

The message of Jesus is summed up here:

“Nothing real (like love) can be threatened.
Nothing unreal (ego) exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.”

You heard it from His lips – not mine. The ego is the scatological part. Fancy word for what we have slipped up in. It’s all in our minds.

For Lent, I am giving up the ego because it does not serve me or you or anyone. Perhaps we could then roll right into Easter and see that we truly live in a guiltless world where love is it.

Not to bad for the beginning of Lent. I get to eat pizza. I will not watch the bad news. I will Trapezoid dance. I will love all my brothers and sisters. I will forgive me – everyday. I will love you every time I see you.

That Jesus. He’s onto something.

Go, EGO, Go…done.

Love wins.

Ruth